dangerdanger

2011-02-12T15:23:00.000-08:00

2010-04-13T16:05:00.000-07:00

2010-04-13T16:02:00.000-07:00

i have had dreams about blue and black hair and blue lips and seeing what a mink animal looks like as it is flipping over my lap. i sleep a lot and dont dream much

2010-03-08T20:00:00.000-08:00

2010-01-28T08:28:00.000-08:00

i had a dream last night where I was in fishers Island on the strip of land that you drive down after you get off the ferry. Danger ( cat) was running thru the forest chasing a fly that I couldnt see and she was jumping so high that it was like she was flying thru the trees and i could see her in and out picking up speed. she kept racing around and she looked like my brothers cat Kasha who is light brown and grey with dark spots and i can see bits of her flying thru the trees. i kept saying Danger slow down! people who were at a picnic were getting annoyed and then she got into a car and started to drive back and forth kicking up dirt skidding in the grass.

ok i found this when i was looking online to try to remember if i was ever in an art show

2009-12-01T18:20:00.003-08:00

estimonials and Comments for Rebekah

View All (9)

Alex
Posted 03/22/2006 6:29 pm
Makes me wonder if the JFK baggage carousel isn't the last cool "undiscovered" place to hang out in New York. Call me and we'll do it again. I know a great little sports bar in terminal C...

Zak
Posted 03/14/2006 6:15 pm
She left the country again! Come back- there's something to do in New York. Um...I think there's a comicbook convention next month. And there's a Hall & Oates concert. New York, it's a city on the Grow!

Soo Mi
Posted 11/19/2004 12:58 pm
I met Rebekah years ago at art school.
My ex-boyfriend who was her boyfriend
at the time introduced us...so, if there's
any good reason to stay friends with an
ex, this was it. Rebekah is awesome! I
remember the first thing she said to me
was that i was cool or was it crazy(?) to
bust a car window open to leave a love
letter for someone...of course that never
happened but i thought it was hilarious
when she said this. I love it when she
wiggles her fingers. Hanging out with
Rebekah is like mouth to mouth...you're
brought back to life with a new zest for
living. oops, sorry, i did not mean to
make this sound like we've been makin'
out.

crystal
Posted 10/02/2004 10:48 pm
rebekah is the real deal. i've learned to
love virgos in a whole new way. so
please don't move out! holla!

Monica
Posted 05/14/2004 1:03 am
that's right i stole the old one away, just like
that, and it was so easy. i would like to invite
you to smoke a blunt have a 40 and ride a
bike a me someday soon.

Linda
Posted 12/21/2003 9:05 pm
She could, and she will, but don't
make her. Cause you'll do what SHE
wants. I love her to DEATH.

Justin
Posted 10/25/2003 9:23 pm
she could. but she won't. so don't
make her.

Dawn
Posted 08/19/2003 2:22 pm
rebekah isn't afraid of you. She's a
strong woman who knows what she wants.
Lucky for her friends it's usually to
have fun and fuck shit up. She's got an
infectious butt wiggle and a smile that
shows all over her body. She's a great
eater and wiggles her fingers when she
talks about yummy food. She makes
beautiful glass teeth and has fashion
and function. One day the all star
painters must reunite!

View All (9)

2009-11-29T19:03:00.000-08:00

2009-11-18T08:16:00.001-08:00

for some reason I think that spirits can read this blog. i dont know why but whenever i think about Leah i feel like writing on this to say hello to her and how much i miss her. I am listening to Marianne Faithful and am kicking myself for never laying in bed with her and just listening to this- i miss her more and more each day and think about how that will never go away. she isnt in my dreams recently but she is in my tears when i drive or listen to music or just catch my self walking down the street alone realizing that she is not around. she will never be around again. last night i dreamt that I was in an old beautiful hotel and i could see it as if i was a bird in an aerial shot of it. and then i was with my friend who decided to change her hair to blonde.. i woke up and my back ached and i dont think i slept that well.. thats it. sorry this is boring. but Leah if you are a ghost who can go online I MISS YOU.

2009-11-16T17:37:00.000-08:00

last night i dreamt that i was looking thru my money and I found a bill from 1933 and then I realized that I was wearing Levi Jeans that were made in 1933 and that they were SUPER vintage and i was like shit why am I wearing these? I could sell them in Japan and make a killing.

i know im procrastinating but so what

2009-11-08T19:56:00.000-08:00

i am making a hang tag for some clothes that i am working on and im supposed to have a tag with text. i have no idea what to do so i started looking in old note books.. here are some things i wrote a long time ago

i like the way my stomach feels when it goes over my pants when it slips back under its self.

i feel my skin move in and see the way my shirt blankets my belly.

it is the softest place,smooth to the back of my hands.

i think your conversations are so boring I think it's tedious and cant I look at the snow and just sit for days and look at the snow. cant I just walk for hours and look at broken down buses and piles of snow

2009-11-07T08:53:00.000-08:00

i had so many dreams last night.. when i woke up this morning i was thinking do other people have dreams where they have extreme close ups? now i cant remember any of it but as usual it was epic- somebody did have a headdress..

125th street. NEW STORE!!!

2009-11-05T10:52:00.000-08:00

2009-11-04T20:32:00.000-08:00

im back.. im gonna try harder i promise

2009-10-13T07:49:00.000-07:00

the benefits of waking up early. the cats took my socks. the most beautiful wicker bike.

2009-10-07T11:06:00.000-07:00

2009-09-22T10:14:00.000-07:00

so i dont forget.. a few nights ago I had a dream about Leah.. I didnt remember it until late the next day when I was thinking about how I missed her. I think I saw something happen on the street and just thought about how she would laugh at it. I think that it was at that moment when I was about to cry about her where I felt like I could talk to her I think that was when I remembered the dream. It wasnt that memorable nothing vibrant or chilling it was just her and me and her there and her laughing and her being around me . I miss you. I wish you were here. I cant believe you are not on this planet. I cant believe I didnt spend more time with you..

last nights dream. i slept in by accident.............

2009-09-16T06:53:00.000-07:00

i am standing at the beach with some lady that i was walking with.. before we were at a bar and she wanted a whiskey sour and the woman made one too strong and the woman that i was with ( who was an older plump waspy woman wearing lime green with extra blush make up kinda painted on to her cheek bones) well the drink wasn't right so the bar-tender pulled out a pitcher of drinks that were the woman's in greens extra stash.. i forget what we were talking about oh sports i guess we had met as we were walking down the hill in fishers by our house and she saw my brother and asked me if he was into sports and what sports he was into and i said basket ball and she asked if you had to wear a face shield for that sport and i said no that sometimes people wear mouth guards. then we started walking together.. anyway she gets her drink and we start walking down to the beach and she is sorta following me and we are on the rocks and i see this huge school of wales and I'm like holy shit and i look closer and they are seals and i can see them up close in detail... there are hundreds of them swimming and the water is clear.. then i see on of them with this huge American flag on its back waving in the wind and then i notice that there is a child on it holding up the American flag and it looks like an old sail boat. the children get off- like they are dropped off by the huge seal- and the two children get off and they are young and white and i look up to them and it seems like thy are sea humans it looks like they have gills on the side of their neck or webbing of some sort and they are standing together... me and the woman want to approach them... and they are standing on a rock and we walk up to them slowly and try to talk to them and they are speaking gibberish but it doesn't really sound like gibberish and i try to talk to them in different languages. and i ask them if they want to come home if they want food.. they are nervous and cower away but then we convince them to come up and have food.. i keep saying home... and they are wearing long sleeved tee shirts and one of them has a pattern on it that makes me think that the pattern is a sea pattern on their body but it really is a pattern on the boys long sleeve shirt... i talk them and start to go back to the house. but in order to get to the house we have to go thru this huge gallery with all of these instillations about homes with beds and rooms in order to go thru this maze to get to the house.. the kids are wild and reckless jumping on things bouncing around...they seem feral...then the girl take of her shirt and she has lots of little soars on her body and she says that she has some sort of disease and that her brother does too and that he had different cancers and that he or they lived with her parents but their mother screamed alot and hit them so they ran away and i was talking to the girl and trying to convince her of something and i was rationalizing it with the metaphor of all of the little soars on her body and she was lying there and i was counting them but as i touched them and looked close she was wearing a flower patterned shirt and it was the flowers on the shirt that i was counting.... we finally got to the house and there was food cooking and there was a party of people all over the place and the kids were running around and wanted soda and they were patient and it was raining and then not raining

breakfast

2009-09-09T06:20:00.000-07:00

coffee with cardamon and cream

fry up some sage with butter

cut a tomato in half and a few mushrooms fry slowly in the sage butter

in another pan fry two eggs

make two thick pieces of toast

put on a plate salt pepper eat!

pizza!

2009-09-01T08:41:00.000-07:00

to make the dough-

1 1/2 cups of flower in a bowl

1 cup of warm water mixed with a packet of yeast

stir it all together making a dough-

when its all mixed add 1 more cup of flower ( give or take a bit)

add a big pinch of salt, two tablespoons of olive oil

when it is mixed take the ball onto a flowered surface and kneed it for a few min

till is smooth - place in a lightly oiled bowl and put a cloth on top

turn the oven on to 500 degrees

dough should be ready in about an hour- oven should be ready in an hour

roll out 1/3 of the dough and place on lightly flowered/ or sprinkled with corn meal

tray-

here are some recipes

this one is from the New Basics

leave a small space in the middle of the pie so you can drop an egg in

shredded mozzarella

anchovies

black olives

cut up oregano

place everything on the pie leaving a fist size circle in the middle

put in the oven for 3 min

take out- crack an egg in the middle

out back in oven for 10- 15 min

cut up some sun dried tomatoes

when the pie is ready take out and sprinkle the sun dried tomatoes

eat

another

roll out the pie- place on pan

cover with ricotta cheese, sprinkle feta cheese, cut up plums, pine nuts, salt and pepper, and a little saba vinegar or a little brown sugar

summer salad

2009-08-24T10:26:00.000-07:00

peel and cut up a cucumber- put in a big bowl

cut up two tomatoes in big chunks and put in bowl

half a bunch of watercress

pour a little olive oil, white vinegar, sprinkle salt and pepper and mix with your hands

let sit for a lil bit and eat

SUMMERTIME!

2009-08-22T20:45:00.000-07:00

2009-08-22T20:18:00.000-07:00

peel beets and chop them up in small pieces

cut up an onion and start cooking in a heavy pan that has a lid ( use olive oil)

add beets

stir and put the lid on and cook it at a medium heat, stirring every once in a while

chop a bunch of parsley and chop up half an onion

put the parsley onion a can of chic peas in a big bowl, add olive oil, salt pepper and half a squeezed lemon

keep cooking the beets till they are a little soft

take off the lid turn up the heat throw in a little balsamic vinegar and stir

take off stove and allow to cool

add to chic peas salad and eat

2009-08-19T22:31:00.001-07:00

last night i made clam pasta..

put clams in a bowl of water - make the water cover the clams. then put a big handful of flower on top of the clams

put the water on for the pasta

cut up tons of garlic - then more

put a pot on that is deep with a lid and pour olive oil in it, and hot red pepper flakes. dont turn it on

cut up tons of parsley ( at least a bunch)

put pasta into pot

rinse clams

turn on oil with garlic and cook a bit but dont brown.. add 2/3 of the chopped parsley

put clams in

pour white wine in about 1/2 cup or more

stir. cover

5 min later add salt and pepper and a chunk of butter. stir cover

take out pasta- a little aldente- a bit more then usual

stir clams and check that they are all open

add pasta to the sauce and cook for a little bit and stir and add the end of the parsley.

eat... put cheese on it.. salt and pepper...

when we were eating the pasta on the roof we saw the most amazing lightning storm. it was so close and when the lightning would strike the entire sky would light up.. this morning I went across the street and this huge tree was struck and had 1/3 of its self missing.

2009-08-02T07:52:00.001-07:00

i have ben having vivid dreams that are complicated and hard to remember.. two nights ago I dreamt about my uncle my fathers brother who died in 1987... it was kinda like that cover of the Led Zeplin album with all the nymph like children walking among the rocks. David my uncle would pop up and he was young and he would just stare- my sister was there and he was staring at her and he was crying and kept saying you have gotten so big. she was 5 when he died.. his hair was blond and really bright and he didnt speak much just looked tender and sad...

2009-07-27T09:42:00.000-07:00

danger is sick and maybe its because of the weather and it being hot in my apartment and me not wanting to use the AC.. she just seems sad and slow and just walks by me and looks up and then down and passes by.. I on the other hand love the weather - i love laying on top of my sheets and have the fan on and waking up later then usual.. i know i have been dreaming and dont remember them.. i also realized that I have more photos then I can imagine and want to post them.. so here goes it Monica and Nathan with their new born lil girl..

2009-07-18T23:17:00.000-07:00

i dont know what my dreams have been like but I have been sleeping and waking up early.. Danger insists on sleeping under my bed and I insist on waking up early and reading my book.. I dont think there have been that many full moons so who knows why people have been acting so strange.. I started watering my plants and the tomato plants finally smell like they should sharp and green..

2009-07-08T09:33:00.000-07:00

2009-07-07T22:25:00.000-07:00

2009-06-29T21:07:00.000-07:00

2009-06-23T21:52:00.000-07:00

i have had so many dreams and have taken so many photos to post - but something is missing.. a few days ago Jessica tried to wake me up to get me to go to planet fitness at 6:30 in the morning- which i promised i would go to the night before- and i didnt want to go. she asked me if i was sure and I said yes and that i was in central park- i guess that was my dream. I have been having many solid thick dreams but cant seem to remember any of them. I had one last night where somebody handed me a child and i knew that if i accepted the child it would be mine for ever and i really didnt want that.. i think I have had some ghost dreams but they must have been thick down because i barley even remember a slight feeling from them. point is i have been busy in my sleep and dont remember it but I dont think that it matters..

2009-06-18T12:14:00.000-07:00

it wont stop raining and there is a leak in the ceiling of my living room and it feels like Danger and I are homebound.. I love it. Millie made me chicken soup and we talked about her parents and her grandparents and when they came to this country. She is 85 and has the most fantastic way of telling stories, she uses images and phrases and just holds on to them and lets them speak for them selves.. Her father came to the states from Poland and his mother and brothers didn't come to the states. When Hitler was invading Poland nobody was prepared. They were on horseback. She said that she remembered that her town paper covered the invasion of Poland and that the image on the paper was of a tank mowing down a solder on a horse and her father just sat and cried..

2009-06-14T11:07:00.000-07:00

we did it and it was beautiful. last night I had dreams about the sea and people looking at the sea and audiences and the sky shifting and as soon as the sky shifted people would move to look at another view.. it was wild and I dont really remember much but I was dancing with someone and we were dancing really close and then nobody was in the room except for us and then I was telling somebody about it and i kept picking at the edge of this beautiful poster.. i fell asleep in my Edie outfit after eating a huge meal at ihop at 3am---
the Grey Gardens festival that we put on was fantastic nerve rackin and beautiful.. as Jessica said we took the cinema to the next level with Berlesque! real ladies.... now I have a pile and a pile and another pile of things to move around throw out and clean up... Danger is mad at me.. cant blame her Ive been a neglectful parent...

this one is kinda lame

2009-06-10T06:25:00.000-07:00

some kid came into the studio/ store that my brother and I were in and she wanted a pen my brother looked in the case and saw a pile of pink powdered pigment and pulled it into his hands and said what you want is a good oil paint pen lets make some.. i was on a mission to make oil paint pens.... we are at the beach and my friend Jeff is there with his daughter and son and the daughter is running around and his son is trying to fall asleep and then i am in charge of keeping an eye on the son who is walking in the beach on the rocks and i dont really pay attention and there is a truck driving wild down the road almost hits his daughter and stops at the beach and a beautiful woman gets out and she is really upset because she just broke up and we are staring at the sea and i hug her... there are lots of people at the beach and we all decide to watch a movie.. the dream was much better I just cant remember it and when i woke up I decided to take all of my glass out of the boxes and put them in my little display case and then cut a grapefruit and play with Danger thus forgetting most of the dream.. sorry....

last night sara got home at 5am because she fell asleep on the steps in my hallway.. i was dreaming alot

2009-06-08T08:19:00.000-07:00

i am sitting at a counter in a house eating pancakes with MIKE TYSON and there is hot chocolate on the stove and i pull it out and he wants the cream part of it to put on his pancakes... then we are walking outside and trying not to get our feet wet walking on the border of things and i end up walking up these steps that are wide plank wooden steps that are like an escalator and i am trying to walk down them against them first i am playing on them and then i cant seem to get to the bottom of them and there are waves at the bottom of them and it is getting harder and harder.

2009-06-07T21:04:00.000-07:00

they brought it..
my lil cluster fluster
the view from driving on the wrong road!
this is the view as i drove away
glass with some extra bling
dance party
grillin
late night grillin
I was away in North Carolina eating food, blowing glass, not sleeping much at all and loving all of the rainstorms.. When I was driving back I took a nap in the parking lot of Dennys and when i woke up ( from my dreams of an old lover driving a 4 wheeler with the most beautiful elbow shaped helmet on) to see the most fantastic view.. i didn't take a photo.. but the photos are from North Carolina and of some of the work that I made.. enjoy........... oh and OUR BOOK IS OUT!!!!!!!!! and its BEAUTIFUL... and SARA FINISHED THE WEBSITE WITH HER FANTASTIC FRIEND ERIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

check out the site aladyisalady.com

2009-05-25T21:12:00.000-07:00

so sorry that I havent written in so long.. and i wish I had photos to put up.. i know that i have been having a lot of dreams but i just dont make the step to write them down and then i forget about them so quickly.... i am in North Carolina and it is so beautiful here, it rains all the time and is this thick thick green. i have been extremely anti-social not able to talk at all and have no desire to share anything with anyone.. the lightning just flashed.. but it is beautiful here..now the thunder.. i had to make up some titles for possible good pieces of work to make and i came up with one that i really like. well i didnt come up with it it was from someone elses mouth but if i wasnt such a good eves dropper then the words would be lost or shifted to someones elses household and not to me and now to someone else who is trying to make art work out of " my " title.. so im walking down the street in Harlem and three teenagers pass me and the one in the middle is wearing a dark blue matchin sweat suit that is tight- especially around her pregnant belly- she is the talker and she says to her two friends " he must be from Africa, cuz he thinks hes a Lion" i handed that into the workshop and someone is going to try to make a sculpture and the title that i got was " stay at home.. or.. cave/place" WTF

2009-05-04T14:01:00.000-07:00

2009-04-30T15:02:00.001-07:00

there was a big building next to me and it was on fire and people were trying to get out and at first i didnt notice that it was on fire but things kept flying out of it.. then i realized that it was on fire.. i was outside looking at the building and i kept worrying about the cats in the building.. i looked up and there was this cat on the top floor and it jumped to me and i grabbed it and held it and it sunk its claws and teeth into me and i didnt want to let it go because i didnt know if it had ever been outside before and i just held it as it sunk into my arm.. i woke up.. Danger was on the bottom of my bed and she was sprawled out and had her paws out and i turned to the bottom of the bed and lay with her and scratched under her chin and she tilted her head back and her eyes were almost closed and we fell asleep again.. more dreams but i dont remember them

2009-04-26T03:37:00.001-07:00

last nights dreams were really strange and i can remember them..but the night before i was learning how to surf and i was in the ocean and we had set up a VCR and a tape of a New Order concert and it was playin on a surf board in the middle of the ocean and we ( me and Laura) were on another surf board watchin the TV- then we realized that the waves may be too high and that the TV may fall into the ocean... I was at a house where I couldn't control the water and the water flooded everything and ruined the floor and an old crush of mine was there and it was his house and he had set it up so that you had to get water from a column in the apartment that made it impossible to get water from and you always ended up flooding the place but he was more beautiful then ever..

two dreams

2009-04-20T06:44:00.000-07:00

we decided that my father needed to change his outfit. so we looked into his closet and pulled out a purple cotton blazer, slim brown pants and then i look at him and he is wearing these platform alligator skin boots that are tall and thin. he wants to wear the boots.. but they look tight and too narrow.. but he loves the boots...

I am friends with Edie Sedgwick and she said I could look through all of her books in her penthouse apartment at the top of the Pierre. So i go up ( have some elevator problems like all of the elevators don't go to the PH) and i get up and first look at all of her Warhol books- there is this big pile of them. Then all of a sudden everybody who is hanging around says that we should go outside for a meeting about the Grey Gardens party and I was thinking that i didn't want to go because i couldn't take notes fast enuff.. There was a woman there who had a lot of ideas as to what to do for the party and things that were a MUST like planting pansies small and big and that the party should be in four parts one part in respect to an old character from Philly who was a rebel- the woman had ideas of the right trees to plant and my mother was there and she was talking to Laura- it was night and we were outside on a roof and the sky was really black with too many stars- and Laura was taking notes. the meeting wasn't going well because you couldn't hear anything. then we went back to the penthouse and Laura was looking at a pile of books and she had a trey of turquoise rings- like the ones in the back of this magazine that she got in Las Vegas- and the rings were mexican and native american and when you looked up close to them the were actual portraits of people who would hang out at Warhols factory- we zoomed in to one and it was a claymation of a animal throwing up. My mom was like ' i remember those that was toms idea i hated it" The penthouse where Edie Sedgwick lived also was the DAP headquarters and one of the women who was lecturing us was wearing a beautiful 1950's blue cotton uniform. I also found old photos of me and my brother the photos were taken from far away and we were in a beautiful old room filled with carpets and tapestries and at the very back of the room was a canopy but we were standing in the middle of the room next to this bed we were both under five years old and my brother was wearing a small Mets sweat suit

few more dreams and im telling danger not to eat the flowers, stop it...

2009-04-13T06:39:00.000-07:00

last night i had a few dreams.. Jay Lenno was teaching a class that my sister and myself were in and there was an exam that we had to take, he had said that we could bring in a page of notes with us to the exam.. when we go there he said that he had never said that.. we were fighting about it.. then some girl claimed that he was her father. then he denied that also.. then we were about to have the test and he started the test with a little propaganda movie that he had made about how this child was not his.. it was all about her childhood and how crazy she was.... we left and went to central park and ended up taking some sort of ice skating lessons.. me sara and auralice. the goal was to learn how to run up a hill of ice. the hill was steep. the problem wasnt people going up it it was going down it.. they came down on their backs on another side of ice but kept racing down the hill at too fast of a speed.. the line wasnt that long and auralice kept saying

"well the line isnt that long" i was taking pictures of her and sara and some of them were beautiful close ups and others the camera wouldnt click fast enuff...

full and sturdy

2009-04-09T21:58:00.000-07:00

while siting at a table close to a keyboard and too close to an entire band I was thinking about how people describe things as accurately as possible.. i was with an old friend of mine tonight and we went to a bar-- around the corner from her house and a nice walk from my house with the full moon- ( the bar is good for dates because it is crowded and will give you a glimpse into weather or not the man you are with is a gentleman or not- but this will not insure weather he is the right one for you gentleman or not). i dont understand how you describe a sound or a person so hopefully when the person reads what you have written they understand who you are talking about and dont mistake the person for a different one.. i cant describe people well enuff but i do know this.. the man who was playing the keyboards was big and his upper lip seemed to have a little bit extra lip that clung on to the top of his gums.. he wore black leather shoes that were squared at the front and i only noticed this because i saw his feet tapping strongly on the ground and not tapping on the petal that was about 10 inches from his right foot. i know that he was strong because even though he did seem to slide his fingers onto the keys they seemed full and sturdy,

2009-04-09T06:43:00.000-07:00

i have had a lot of beautiful dreams.. they are long and epic and scattered.. one i was inside the belly of the largest ship and i could see the frame of the ship from the sunlight all around its edges. i am in the middle of the desert on a rooftop eating tacos........ i am laying in a bed filled with people at a party with a movie screening on the wall holding a baby who is giggling at everything that i say and rolling with laughter...

2009-04-04T06:52:00.000-07:00

i don't have any photos yet but last night we had a fantastic event at the Cinema. there were a lot of characters.. earlier in the day when we were setting up i got caught up in a conversation with one of the Dj's who started to talk about the origins of Hip Hop- he wasnt into the name Hip Hop at all and thought that it dismissed the history of the music and the roots of the music, then he went into the history of language and hyroglyphics and grafitti. i was caught in this conversation he was stairing at the street and talking at me not too me and not listening to anything that I was saying but i could not get out of the conversation at all.. i was in the process of cleaning the space and somehow i got out of the conversation.. it was a warning about what was to come- my brother was like be careful of getting into some conversations because sometimes they are hard to get out of.. the thing was that there were so many pauses in the conversation- moments where he would hold up this flyer that he had and just point to the words Hip Hop...

Later in the night i sat for a long time doing the tickets at the door and i was talking to the security man- he is tall really tall and big and has this sweet almost thin baby face with a scar that goes from the left side of his mouth all the way up to his sideburns- has a bluetooth on at all time ( which really throws me off because I cant ever figure out if people are on the phone or not) and two chinese character tattoos on the side of his neck- point is he has beautiful smooth skin with all of this information on one side..

anyway its late and we start getting into this conversation about the neighborhood and his previous job and the job that he had moving super heavy exorcise matts into a house but somehow over a wall and into the back- 240 exercise matts- from there he rushed home to get changed for the night job he had problems getting into the block because the police were doing one of their animal territorial bumrushes of the block.. but all of this lead into his descriptions of how clean he was.. i think we talked for about at least a solid hour about how clean he is. he makes some concoction of witch hazel and other things to wash him self with- and his laundry ... he said that his mother ( who lives up the block but now is staying with him because she has a " lead toxic gasses" issue) told him that she taught him too much.. anyway he uses an insane amount of fabric softener.. he said he will be at a construction site working demolition and people will be like dam who smells so good- and its him because thats how much fabric softener and starch he uses.. i just got this image of him standing there with his clothes all super stiff smelling of flowers..

MEXICO

2009-04-03T05:30:00.000-07:00

i realized why i like the city. i cant help it. it was beautiful

2009-03-19T21:27:00.000-07:00

i just got back from seeing Fleetwood Mac and it was beautiful.. i kept thinking about Leah and how she would have loved to go and that if she was alive i would have got her a ticket and we would be dancing in the isles. its strange when people die that they stay in your mind and then they fade out and then they come back so strong. i miss her so much, have been thinking about her on the subway and crying on the subway and then start to giggle.. sara said that maybe she was on stage or watchin for above and then i thought that maybe the positive thing about dying is that you can be everywhere that you want to be.. im terrified of death, i think its a dip into nothing- i hope that isnt true..

its spring and Danger is pawing at the screens and i keep thinking about Leah and wish she would visit me in my dreams- visit me in some strong way other then making me cry at a Fleetwood Mac concert...

i want more snow

2009-03-10T10:46:00.000-07:00

last night i was in a dream and it was busy and futuristic and then there was a moment in the dream when i couldn't figure out if i was having a dream or a nightmare.. everything seemed off to me and then all of a sudden this drilling sound started and i realized it was a nightmare and i did everything in my power to pull myself out of it.. i woke up and looked at my wall and thought that there was a ghost on the wall and i kept focusing my eyes on the wall and realized that it was just a gap between two mirrors that looked like an arm...

2009-03-03T19:23:00.000-08:00

i have been having the most fantastic dreams and cant remember any of them. or only little bits.. i do remember falling asleep but Sara was in bed and i woke up and the lights were on and i told her the dream and i was still in it then in the morning when i woke up i asked her about it and she remembered nothing.. i do remember one beautiful calm dream last night where i was walking with a crush and we were walking and he had a big sweatshirt and it was dark and soft and comforting and i felt so happy to just be with him curled up with the sweatshirt. i guess when you write it it is no where as fantastic as wakening with it..

it is so so cold out and i went to get Chinese food today at my new favorite place " good taste" and when i was waiting for my food this woman ordered some fried chicken " no brown spots, make him check it i don't want any dark spots" then she explained to me that if the chicken has dark spots it means that the chicken had been in a fight and was bruised up and she didn't want to eat any chicken that had been fighting or bruised up. she was really into that and nice so i didn't say anything about how they cant even fight because their beaks are chopped off and they are cramped into spaces too small to be able to fight at all. it seemed like some way that she could control her super busted meal that she was about to get from " good taste" she also learned how to say thank you in Mandarin and kept saying it again and again. then we talked abut how many layers we had on and she invited me to her church on 120th and 5th and said not to worry i could wear pants...

2009-02-22T21:59:00.000-08:00

i took my friends daughter to go ice skating a few days ago.. shes 6 and somehow i didnt realize that most skating rinks in nyc seem to have early hours in the start of the week.. we were walking towards Walman Rink and i saw the ice cleaning machine swerving around the rink so we decided to run fast to get there and put our skates on during the break so we would have the most time to be on the ice.. when we got to the ticket counter we found out that the rink had just closed.. Ida was patient with the disappointment.. i asked her what she wanted to do and if she needed a moment to figure things out and she agreed that she needed a little time. so she just sat there.. the sun kept moving from where we were sitting because there was this tremendous hi rise that hey had built that made the sun disappear every three minutes that we moved.. so we sat for a while and then she decided that she wanted to climb rocks which terrified me.. but I let her because all the other kids were doing it-throwing their bodies around.. Finally we decided to go to the Carousel- which i had not been to in years-- it is so so so beautiful- everything is carved in wood and it is an absolute treat- i must note that although it is beautiful it doesn't make you want to have children any more then you did before but it may make you re confirm that you really want to marry a carpenter...

2009-02-18T09:58:00.000-08:00

i know that i have had a lot of dreams but have become worse and worse about remembering them.. i don't remember last nights dreams but i remember that they were in layers and that they changed according to how my body shifted under my comforter.. it is cold and grey outside and Danger is impatient and looks at me all the time and jumps up at my leg and kinda air fights my legs- she reminds me of myself when i get excited about something and embarrassed about it at the same time.. its strange and windy outside. i cant seem to get anything done although i did make a great pasta with mushrooms and sun dried tomatoes and sweet onions and pine nuts so i guess that's one thing that i got right-

2009-02-02T19:21:00.000-08:00

i dont completely remember last nights dreams but they were beautiful.. i was somewhere in the woods and it was a combination between the woods and an old college campus.. i went into the class room and i was in Mali and there was a teacher who was teaching a class of children and she made the most beautiful chalk drawings on the chalk board of fantastic portraits of older woman surrounded by fabric- then i left the class room and thought about it and walked back in and she was erasing the portrait..

while eating a coconut donut i got the best email-

2009-01-29T08:37:00.000-08:00

"This morning I got to work at little late, like 9:30, no big deal really.

9:15 is the norm for everybody. But when I got here, NOBODY was here,

I was like, shit, they're at some meeting. But,no, everybody was late.

The day before I got to work on time (9am, which is super early) and of

course nobody got here until like 10am. I'm trying to do right and FOR ONCE

practice punctuality ( you'll benefit as well), cuz at my last job I was supposed

to be at work at 10:30, but I wouldn't arrive until like 2pm. And they still wouldn't

fire me. Even when Bill the owner was sitting around waiting. I would show up

and see him and all the managers waiting for me and the Bill would say very

loud and obnoxious, "Well look who decided to show up today.I'm SO glad you

could join us in the office." ( At this point I still needed the job) I would half smile and

very enthusiastically say, "Hey what's up big guy". Our manager would have

people work from home when Bill came to the office. A few weeks earlier, without

notice or warning, he fired a girl because he thought there were too many people

in the office. One guy was fired on his way to work, when he ascended from the

subway to listen to his voicemail. Only blocks from the office, apparently he just turned

around and went back home. I really liked that you could wear shorts to work in the summer.

I like your list idea.

It's really nice and bright outside.

I need to go outside a walk more.

2009-01-27T19:00:00.000-08:00

i wish i had some good dreams to report. only thing i can say is that I have been dreaming in photoshop.. since i am working on photo shop for at least 12 hours a day it has sneaked into my dreams.. i learned a new trick to make the text on a piece of paper come off the paper- its called the magnify tool- you drag the scan of the paper into a document and press magnify and then the white fades away and all is left is the drawing.. i know that's boarin but the thing is on saturday night my dreams were separated by the magnify tool- when the dream was about to change to the next one the white would fade away and the words of the dreams were left and they would hover then the dream would begin and then when it was finished the description would slide onto the dream then the magnify tool would go in effect and the cycle would continue.. sorry I've neglected this blog so much- the book is almost almost almost finished and when it does STAND BACK !! did i write about how in love i am with the itues Baroque station? its so relaxing.

PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA

2009-01-21T07:47:00.000-08:00

Yesterday i stood outside on 125 to see Barack Hussein Obama be sworn in. i didn't wear good socks. i bought good socks last night and am wearing them today and now i understand the difference... I wish i was hi tec and could link Mondays Democracy Nows show about Dr King, his speeches were so amazing- I had fantastic dreams last night don't remember many but they were very colorful.. I was walking with my mother near the sea and she just paused and said look at the birds and we looked down to an open sand island and there were big geese with green turquoise feathers that matched part of the water and i kept taking pictures for my blog. the dream was really sunny.. wait does this work? if it does look at mondays show i know I'm interrupting my dream but I'm listening to it and its fantastic..

email

2009-01-15T07:45:00.001-08:00

a good email that i sent here is the back and fourth:

" Hey how are you.

How was the food last night. Sorry I had to leave so early but I was out of it and really tired. If I was saying bad things and not treating you so nice, I didnt mean it.

On a positive note I'm gad to see that you are becoming a vegan."

"i fell asleep on the subway with Laura and woke up trying to be in the conversation but just adding stuff from a dream that i was having. i dont remember what you said to make me upset but i know you were tired and i was overheating. laura and i were sitting and we were like damn this is so good and then Laura goes yeah this is good but i could never be a vegan and i was like i know and this isnt even vegan because its covered in goat cheese and we both laughed"

the most pathetic snow storm

2009-01-10T21:07:00.000-08:00

i dont understand the concept of a snow storm. in my world everything becomes quiet, cars have to decide to just stay put, the subway works, it isnt that cold outside, everyone walks around slowly. and there is tons of snow and the sky is thick white for a long time, you go to sleep when its snowing and wake up and its still snowing... today it snowed for the end of the afternoon until it was dark out.. everything has a little bit of snow on it.. i haven't been out of the house much i think just once to get spinach and ginger for soup but Laura said that all the ladies at Fairway were extra bitchy ( not the women who worked there but the shoppers) and that they were all stocking up for the snow storm that they were convinced was going to last for weeks..

i have been having dreams- and recently i have noticed that they are organized like a photoshop document. last night i had a lot o dreams .. i cant remember them but i do remember that when one dream was over i would use the eraser tool and erase the dream to find the next dream under it like a layer.

more dreams

2009-01-08T08:38:00.000-08:00

Obama had my cell phone number and he texted me happy new year and then i thought well after he becomes president will he still text me?

Went to pick up Millie from Long Island to take her to Harlem and she wanted to take the golf cart- i didnt think that taking a golf cart on the long island expressway in the middle of the winter made sense because there are no windows- so she said we could take the Cadillac.

I had a few different dreams last night and i really couldn't remember them well when i woke up but i thought i should start pulling them together

2009-01-04T20:44:00.000-08:00

.... i was picking up Leah from work and she was trying to balance a few coffee cups and was walking fast.....

....i called my mom at work and a cute man anwsered the phone and it was at her old work and he had a short beard...

... walking and saw a group of junkies and then as we kept walking we bumped into this mission truck that delivered food and the word of god and they were all excited that the had to make up fourteen meals and as we were talking to the chubby tall driver my brother started talking to him about how wouldn't it be better to just give them the food and not necessarily deliver the word of god to them that the food was more important..

...a lot of driving...

i am going to my old apartment in Germantown Philly and i cant remember the right entrance.. i walk into one apartment and the music is blaring and the lighting is dim and I cant figure out if its the right apartment so i go out and enter from the front of the house and i have to walk up the side of the house making the house feel like a big tree house.. i hear a raccoon crying an evil squeal and look off into the distance and see it on a swing tearing up a huge rat and I'm nervous because it sounds like its rabid.. all of a sudden it charges at me and it has its fangs around me and around my cat Danger and its clamped really tight and i don't know what to do i don't react immediately but i just take a deep breath and pry it off the cat and my arm.. I get into the apartment and cant figure out what room is the best to live in- there are two options and its beautiful and low lit with little colorful bulbs then a huge white cat opens the door and walks in..

happy new years!!!

2009-01-03T15:01:00.000-08:00

i dont have any new years resolutions.. i dont think i want to put them on a list.. maybe not to get stressed out.. maybe to write my dreams down .. to not let things that annoy me build up to anger... i had a fantastic new years.. here are some photos from new years day.. im gonna do it backwards and do the new years eve next time

a few different christmas parties!

2008-12-27T22:05:00.000-08:00

2008-12-23T08:40:00.001-08:00

the snow is ice and its still here

2008-12-23T08:36:00.000-08:00

i havent been using my camera much so i dont have any photos to put up.. but it is beautiful out and it snowed a few days ago and everything was quiet and now most of the snow has turned to ice and my roof is covered in snow and Danger just looks out the window and there is a group of Robins who have seemed to moved to my fire escape. i had dreams about collages about piles of buildings

BREAD AND PUPPET

2008-12-18T12:33:00.000-08:00

you have to go to the Bread and Puppet at the Theater for the New City- it is your duty- its like having the strangest dream but better. i go every year. this year i went to the kids and the adult one it is only on until sunday every night at 8pm and the kids one is on saturday and sunday at 3pm. here are some photos from a free performance that they gave a few summers ago.. please please treat yourself....

dreams

2008-12-16T07:06:00.000-08:00

one of the dreams that i had last night took place on the ferry... i have had a lot of ferry dreams.. for a long time i had dreams about me driving the Fishers Island ferry- and being responsible for manning the ship and also being responsible for crashing the ship, deforming people, then having those people chase me... this dream was on the ferry- there was a restaurant on the ferry and when you went to use the bathroom a little window on the bottom looked onto the restaurant and i couldn't tell if the people in the restaurant could look in and see into the bathroom.. people were singing in the restaurant- old songs- lots of old women were singing.. i was alone on the ferry and felt it.. something happened something like the full moon something where everybody was really happy- like a sudden thing.. and it made me run off the ferry and dive into the water - it was dark and there was a full moon and the boat stopped so i could swim back to it i took off my tank top that was under my shirt- it was a black tank top that i have from Kazuko who died a year or so ago- and I'm swimming to the boat and the water is warm and the moon is full and i have the tank top in my hand and nobody is stressed about me going overboard.. i get back onto the ferry and nobody talks to me... then as we are approaching land there is text over the dream and it is an email from a friend of Leah's who is also dead and who's birthday was saturday- and the text is in all caps from a friend of hers who i don't particularly like but who she liked and loved to make me hang out with because i didn't like him- any way the text was his that he had emailed me talking about how IT WAS HER BIRTHDAY and HOW HE MISSED HER and HOW MUCH FUN SHE WAS and it was really nice.

happy birthday

2008-12-13T08:13:00.000-08:00

I can not find this picture that i have well its a collage that Leah made for a birthday party that she was having.. today would have been her 33rd birthday.. i miss her more then i can imagine

i had so many dreams last night.. they were all sort of real. we were at the office and Leah was there ... somehow there was a huge pizza oven at the office and we were all sitting around eating pizza.. it was good and thin and I put my piece in the oven and made it very hot.. Leah and Pat were sitting on the sofa and Leah was smoking a cigarette and she was fighting with Pat who was trying to light her cigarette and Leah was trying to get her to light hers.. then we were all taking and I was talking to Mom and Leah kept trying to interrupt me to get me to get her a coke- i think i talked to her about Sara Pailin.. it was nice and normal to see her on the couch... the dream was so complicated and too long to write down .. it was just nice to see her in a dream

let it be

2008-12-08T12:08:00.000-08:00

Sara is listening to the sound recordings and Big Edie is listening to New London radio and Let It Be is on the radio and Sara reminded me that today is the anniversary of John Lennons death... this photo is for him and all of the people that i have been missing who are somewhere above or beside us.

my first presidential dream

2008-12-08T11:06:00.000-08:00

i woke myself up by laughing in my sleep at a joke.. sara told me to write it down but i was too tired and kinda wanted to go back into the dream... it isnt as funny as it was to me in my sleep but here is what sara wrote down

"woke up rebekah laughing in sleep:

dating tv show with barack obama – woman got embarrassed because suddenly all these people start coming up to her on her date with barack– rebekah said "it was like a comedy sketch it was really funny."

hi barack obama - grannie decked out in obama outfit,pinksweatshirt and a sign and more and more people keep coming and barack just thinks its funny but the woman gets more and more embarrassed."

baked apples and a maybe dead mouse

2008-12-07T21:51:00.000-08:00

saras yoga ball is too big for me but i can still use it to stretch my back.i have been hunched over all day on a computer and then with water colors ( i am really in love with water colors and want to do them all the time and when i get back to Harlem and finish this book i just want to stare out the window and paint every building.. I CANT WAIT!!) it snowed for about five minutes and i took Danger out for a photo op.. Last night we think that Danger caught a mouse- well did something to it because it squealed and then Danger was camped in front of the stove for two hours.. then today we made pizza and smelled the familiar smell of mouse ( my mom once tried to cook a kosher Passover and unfortunately realized that there was a dead mouse in the oven the entire time).. we dont know if it was mouse- how much Danger injured the mouse-neither of us are clear because Danger is still lurkin about the stove- but the smell did cause Sara to light a scented candle which she has in the past said things like " what is that smell its horrible".. the wind is a beast outside and sara is having so much fun listening to sound recordings and she giggles and shouts out fantastic quotes and im thinking about attempting to paint a large sailboat for a drawing about a sea captain ghost.. at midnight sara treated me to a baked apple which she put in the wood burning stove and which cooked a bit too fast because it is so so hot maybe because its so windy out.. im a bit upset that i am having problems remembering my dreams..

saras guide to a good fire with out much detail

2008-12-06T07:43:00.000-08:00

today it is so calm.. i went outside with danger and the ground was frozen but the sea was so so still.. it hasnt been like that in a long time- usually it is so windy out and you can hear the sea and the waves and the swell of the sea. but today the sun is out and nothing on the water.. i had a lot of dreams last night that i cant remember-- what is happening to my memory? maybe i havent been writing them down enuff and so they just fade away when i wake up.. i know that there was something normal but futuristic about my dreams last night.. other then that im out of details.. the photos are to display Saras new master of the wood burning stove.. i dont have a photo of the new stacking system that she has first bark ( according to Sara the best fire starter ever) then scraps then the good wood then the not so good wood.. but anyway here's a step by step of how to make a fire... the key is all of the little scraps that go in first and then the slow care to start the fire and then to stay with it all the time- it takes at least five hours to really heat up the stove- but when its hot the room is so warm and you can defrost meat sauce on top and cook potatoes and beets and baked apples inside just wraped with tinfoil and always have a pot of water ready to heat up your tea.

i know its long but its almost winter but im not tired

2008-12-03T22:12:00.000-08:00

i love the winter.. i know im not supposed to love it because it just started and usually there is some point where it seems to never end and everything is grey and has been grey for so long.. then there is the part of the winter where i realize that it seemed like the winter never started- then get depressed that the winter wasnt cold enuff. or days where its cold and then days where i don't need to wear thick sweaters outside and remember when i was younger and it was so cold.. when i think about cold winters from when i was younger i always think of this one night where there was a blizzard. after everything settled and it wasnt snowing as much my whole family walked out into the street. Everything was quiet and the streets hadnt been cleared and the sky was a deep black and now that i think about it it wasnt even that cold but white and quiet and the air was sharp and we just walked and walked and everybody was enjoying the snow and the crisp of the air on our cheeks and the fact that you could see your breath and that everything was comfortable. my face felt cold but my layers were right and i wasnt cold just felt like i could really feel my breath in and out and my ears and all the people around me.. i even think i lay in the street making angles in the middle of 72nd street... a colder winter was an ice storm when i was in highschool and i was at my friend Ambers house and it was 3in the morning and we were walking to her uncles house all the way from the east side to the west side and everything was covered in ice and looked fantastic. all the trees were covered in ice and glistened ( it sounds so cheesy but its true) and little drops were on the tips of the branches and you didnt want to touch them because they would crack.. even the trash looked beautiful and the sidewalk was covered in ice and nobody talked to each other because we were all concentrating on the sidewalk not to slip and i had a photo in my pocket and somehow it came out of my pocket and skirted across the street and i had to slowly slide across keeping my shoes on the ground-I kept better balance that way. the sound of our feet scraping was the only sound except for us giggling about how the only sound was the sound of our shoes...i like me a thick cold winter filled with snow and the need to wear gloves and scarfs wrapped up to my nose or at least protecting my chin.. so i am into the winter setting in .. it has been warm outside- looks cold but when I'm in the sun its warm.. the sea isn't as tough as it was two weeks ago but i can see the swell in the waves and really hear them hit the shore.. the photos are from a few weeks ago where Sara found a jacket that she now lives in because it is like having a down comforter wrapped around her at all times.. she sleeps in it.. sprawls it on the floor.. picks it back up again and goes outside to get fire wood... my father has a jacket that is longer and he would wear it with a brown sash around the waist. it has big pockets and now it has thinned out a lot because it was down and all of the feathers kept coming out- it has the most amazing little stitch up jobs all over it...

Danger the cat wants to be outside all the time and I have made a deal with her that we can go out two times a day- once in the morning while the water for tea heats up and the three minute egg is just starting ( my new obsession with starting the day) and then once in the afternoon before the sun sets. usually this is the only time that both of us exit the house-she has this fantastic move where i run and drag a stick and she runs after it one paw in front of the other.. she also acts a little bit like a dog only in the sense that you can throw a ball to her and she will follow it but not pick it up- but look at it. so we are back at work nervous about the long list that seems to be getting marked up but never crossed off..

now im hungry again

2008-12-01T17:19:00.000-08:00

i know im a bit late on the posting of photos of food and family and more food but it just takes me a long time.. i dont remember my dreams during the last week but know that i had a lot of them.. know that when i wake up sometimes i send texts of my dreams and wish i just wrote them down instead.. i have to get those texts back.. we are back in fishers and sara was jamming a huge chunk of fire wood into the stove because we are so so low on wood and it is so so cold here... the order of the photos are what they are. a lot of food.. two birthdays.. all ages.. more food.. matchin outfits.. and other things.. i had such a nice time.. now im hungry again.. oh well..

2008-11-25T07:10:00.000-08:00

i had a dream last night- first thing was that somebody was teaching me how to turn on a scooter more like a bike that had the feature of being a scooter or being able to turn to scooter mode- it was and old Piaggio with a simple turning button and had a master lock on the front wheel that you could attach to any pole.. the other part was long but in translation is short and probably not as important to others as it is to myself.. i was in my Uncles apartment on 79th street- he was giving me a tour of it and i was thinking about how i had strange memories of the rooms because the last time i was there was before he died. i kept telling him this " its so interesting to figure out the memories and what actually is because the last time i was here was before you died" i was walking around the apartment in my own space the room that you entered the apartment was kinda the central room and then it would splinter off all the rooms seemed bigger than i remembered them which is strange because usually its the opposite - i went into one room that looked onto another room and when i looked at the other room it turned into my parents old living room- i kept thinking about how i never noticed that both apartments were the same in size.. I'm walking around crying and thinking about the apartment- there is somebody in the apartment ( i think the woman who owned the scooter) and shes trying to attach appliances or hook up a cable i look at the TV and it has a pile of tissue boxes all stacked on top of each other like a sculpture-- David ( my uncle ) is standing there and we are talking and hes telling this story about how when he was dying the one thing that he refused to give up was the sound of his voice- that on his dying bed he just didn't want to give up his voice- he paused in the story and i was staring at the wood work and he couldn't speak because he was crying and i was crying and kept using tissues and staring at the TV with the sculpture of tissues then i looked at a photo of a Halloween party in the hallway of my parents building and all of the kids my sisters age ( younger) are standing around me and i am so much shorter.. i woke up trying to remember everything about the dream a few things that i want to note are that i don't think that i really saw David in the dream- something that you want so much when you have a ghost dream- and that in real life one of the only things about my uncle that i truly remember is the smell of his cologne that he use to wear. i don't remember his voice or his physical presence.. i have been missing ghosts recently not David as much because i have been looking at a lot of photos of him and have been listening to sound recordings of him- but i have been missing my friend Leah- more then i could ever imagine- it hits me every day and maybe because its close to her birthday and maybe because we are working at Fishers a place that she cherished and wrote her first Novel or maybe because i have her ipod and listen to all of her dramatic playlists like Longing songs- who knows or maybe because i just miss her so so much and cant believe i wont be able to tour her apartment or get dragged down the street with her or all of those things that you miss.

the stove eats up wood like i dont know what

2008-11-22T19:09:00.001-08:00

i know that i have had a lot of dreams but cant remember them right now. Danger caught a beautiful finch with an orange stripe on its head- i had to shake her to let the bird go- she was so fast that i didnt even notice that she caught the bird till i saw the lil tail in her mouth.. its so cold up here- or more like windy ferociously windy and the wood burning stove eats up wood like i dont know what..

2008-11-19T06:28:00.000-08:00

there was a lot going on in my dreams last night and i cant remember a big enuff chunk but just for the record... we were making photographs using an old technique. it envolved a piece of paper photo paper that had a film on top of it so you would expose the paper and then inorder to make the photo come out you had to peel off the film that was on top of the paper.. the problem was that the film was super old and it kept sticking to the print and it was like very old masking tape that when you try to peel off it just falls apart and the sticky part stays... we kept trying to get the film off the paper but it kept pulling the image with it... then somebody came ito the room and was like " you have to see this movie your going to love it" so i walked into the other room and sat on the sofa and started watching the movie the first thing i said was "oh i love this actress shes my favorite" but when she turned her head i realized i had no idea as to who she was.. the scene was a group of girls hanging out then one girl had to leave.. the next shot is of this preppy mother picking up the insert from some seventies Miss something type shoe and the mother said " whos wearing cheap shoes in my house" with a thick philly accent- i dont know how to explain what that sounds like but theres a lot of rolling of the cheap and the shoes... next scene is of this teenage girl who is extremely busty wearing a type of eighteenth century dress and her mother is saying " i want to know whos wearing cheap shoes in my house?" and her daughter turns around and says "mom we were just hanging out you nou know late night"

drawings

2008-11-16T19:20:00.001-08:00

i have been dreaming a lot and bad at writing them down... now i really cant remember them but it has been hectic- i was standing on a ladder that i didnt realize was folded and walked down to a table full of pastries... oh in real life Danger the cat caught a mouse or THE mouse that she has been checking out for days.. we couldnt let her have it or kill it and i think that she is sill pissed about it- possibly dreaming about it because her dreams seem very active with paws shaking and her tail twitching and then when she wakes up she walks up to where she found the mouse and then walks onto the rug where the mouse was before it was pulled out of the house to freedom or most likely to its return back thru the basement into the house within one minute of release.. I have been drawing, not drinking but drawing and having fun drawing and drawing.

2008-11-13T06:50:00.000-08:00

so we have been eating a lot

2008-11-12T17:10:00.000-08:00

so we have been eating a lot.. Sara has mastered the meat sauce.. well Joe was the master of the meat sauce, and although he kept telling us how he made his sauce I think he took the real recipe to the grave. His sauce or gravy as he would call it was amazing, it is so hard to describe- it was a little spicy and thick and you would crave it all the time.. he would make the pasta and then pour the gravy on the pasta and then in a bowl have meats in gravy that you could put on the pasta and then in a little pitcher put more gravy on the pasta if you wanted.. I remember before he died he would talk about how he couldn't sleep at night and how he would wake up in the middle of the night and have a lot of energy. I was over at his house when him and his wife Millie were talking about this and she said " hes a nut I wake up at four o'clock in the morning and i hear this banging in the kitchen, i don't know whats going on so i get up and go in the kitchen and there is Joe making gravy! I'm like what are you doing" so Joe says "so i was making gravy i felt like making gravy" Millies like " you cant make gravy at 4 in the morning" Joe "why not. what's the big deal i wanted to make gravy" I think that they were married for over 50 years.. When he died i remember going into his house and just opening the door and feeling like something was missing and i felt it in the kitchen it wasn't as warm and he wasn't standing by the stove..

My mother makes fantastic meat sauce- the secret is chicken liver and butter- and a lot of wine.. So Sara is up here and has a goal to make a meat sauce, we have agreed that it is impossible to make Joe's sauce- we think he cooked it for hours and hours and hours. So Sara tries to make our mothers sauce and gets pretty close she just stands over it obsessing and stirring and adding wine.. On election night my mother made meat sauce and we all ate it and it was fantastic and thick.. Sara's is the same- well a bit different but fantastic.. She made a huge pot of it and froze bags of it- we crave it all the time and cant stop eating it.. Last night she made it with this amazing salad.

2008-11-10T21:51:00.000-08:00

she wants to be outside all the time.. well almost all the time.. right now i think shes happy curled up on the chair on top of a bag that i made for this computer. but during the day she begs and begs

2008-11-09T15:50:00.000-08:00

2008-11-09T15:13:00.000-08:00

i cant remember my dreams from last night.. although i know that i had them and remember standing by the door this morning saying the long complicated dream that i guess was only important to me for that moment... this morning i woke up at sunrise and saw the sky lift from the sea letting in the pin k light. it kinda looked like rain clouds but i think it was just the night separating and rolling up for the day.. a few days ago i had beautiful dreams about big towers of bee hives big glass columns of bees standing in the garden and a old wood box that had twelve compartments that held bottles that "could hold at least three times the amount of honey that you need" the bottles unfortunately were not full of honey and instead were full of kerosene which i discovered when i sipped from one of them and had to spit it all out...

there are a few things that i learned this weekend... lets see- its nice to dress up for dinner, or to dress up for a walk or even to dress up to do the dishes.. some people really don't have that many dreams.. Danger the cat will beg no matter what but answers to her name.. in order to cook a roast you should cook the meat at high heat for twenty minutes and then reduce the heat and cook it 10 minutes for ever pound.. egg replacer isn't that bad but is strange because it has nothing to do with eggs but is some stranger thickener.. that the fall has this rapid ability to shift to winter in subtle ways like color- not even cold but color ( trees reducing so fast) and the last thing is that the tree that holds your breath that amazing red bushy tree is related to sumac.

Obama

2008-11-09T14:51:00.000-08:00

crossing the street at 125 th and Malcom X Boulevard

2008-11-05T19:31:00.000-08:00

WE DID IT WE DID IT WE DID IT...OBAMA!!!!!

2008-11-05T08:15:00.000-08:00

this is what Harlem was like last night... i woke up this morning and Danger the cat was laying at the foot of my bed and i looked at her and played with her belly and just lay there thinking about last night.. i was making phone calls all yesterday and one woman picked up the phone and was nasty and said ' when are you guys gonna give it up? just give it up. im a registered republican and my son is a registered democrat and we voted so just give it a rest. i wanna know when your gonna give it a rest.?" and i said " when Obama is elected president. Thank you." so now i can give it a rest for the moment..

2008-10-30T14:43:00.000-07:00

2008-10-30T14:36:00.000-07:00

im up at Fishers and am so jealous of the maddness in philly!!!

2008-10-30T14:32:00.000-07:00

this was a break from the book.. couldnt help it...

Kazuko and now its windy windy windy

2008-10-29T07:04:00.000-07:00

it is so so so windy outside.. the sea is this dark blue and very choppy.. i had so many dreams that i cant remember.. the last one was me being lost on my bike some where that was a combo between the suburbs of philadelphia and my old house in south philly.. it was beautiful out and i had a red plaid apron that i was trying to hold onto all bunched up on the front of my bike while trying to cross some crazy intersection...

the photographs are from a ceremony that we had on sunday putting Kazukos ashes to rest in a pond in central park.. it was a beautiful day ( although i was hoping for a grey day because i was worried about the crowds) but somehow the pond was a little bit aside enough that we were not bothered and got to read beautiful poems- we all went around and read these Japanese Death poems- poems that monks wrote on their last day on earth- a book of poems that my mother had given her years ago and one that we found by her bedside. they were beautiful.. at the end i mixed the ashes with water and spread them in the water...i hope she was watching... i didnt feel her around but i felt the ceremony part of her around- the ashes were so strange and foreign- not the type of ashes that are in a fireplace something strange like between the fire place and a rough sea shore...

its stormy out and i love it

2008-10-28T09:14:00.000-07:00

I love the fall.. not only does it mean that i can change my sweaters and wear jackets that have been in the closet for a long time but it means for some strange reason MORE DREAMS!!! i have been dreaming up a storm. maybe its because i am feeling good about things in my life but i think it is also because of the fact that its getting cold and my brain is telling me that its ok that we are going to have to SUFFER thru the stupid set back of day lights saving time- and that its ok that when i wake up its still dark because ill be able to lay in bed in the darkness and think about the last dream and enjoy it for those few minutes as they start to eat away from my memory... i had a lot of dreams last night- now i cant remember them but i do know that when i woke up i was feeling like i was supposed to cook the beets that are in my fridge and that i had discovered a new recipe that consisted of cooking the beet leafs a bit but also frying them... this month the dreams have been filled with recipes and random celebrity cameos ( had a dream a few weeks ago about a serial killer who was chewing on a lot of pills and who would not fall down after i kept throwing small glasses and boxes at him- but who was narrating the dream? the calm voice of Ice T!! i think its from all of my devotion to both the Wire and Law and Order..) im going to try to write down more of them.....

I dont get it anymore

2008-10-22T21:33:00.000-07:00

i know things are messed up with this thing we call "democracy" but what is the deal with Bloomberg.. i have always thought he was evil, he has sold every part of New York City off to any luxury shmuck he can find, allowing the destruction of a city that i was born in and have always loved. but this term limits pat on the back bullshit is really too much.. WE VOTED FOR TERM LIMITS TWICE!!!!!! VOTED!!!!! its my younger sisters FIRST memory of voting- to be apart of voting IN term limits.. I don't get it... if 90% of new york city voters believe that it should be a voting issue then why the hell does he get to go against the wishes of the people of new york. i know that he hasn't respected the wishes of newyorkers in the past but this is really a slap in the face.. its so depressing.. don't forget to vote for what ever your allowed to vote for on November 4th!!!!!!! OBAMA!!!!!!!

I am going to try

2008-10-20T16:29:00.001-07:00

i am going to try harder to add more to this bloggggggg.. i am so into the new cold.. i had a lot of dreams last night and it caused me to think that i was holding a remote control in my hand- then i woke up and realized that i had overslept - the remote must have been my phone and the snooze button... we are in fishers and it is beautiful out... the sea is this color that is indescribable - unpaintable- just able to look at it...

2008-10-20T16:23:00.000-07:00

i didnt say anything about this photo. Sara and I made a little Grey Gardens project at the Megawords space in Phili... i made the wallpaper and sara put together the recording.. a friend took this photo of Stefan listening to the recordings.. it was amazing

2008-10-20T15:32:00.000-07:00

2008-10-13T17:33:00.000-07:00

i know that i have not written in a while.. soon ill add some photos.. we are up in Fishers Island and it is so beautiful up here. Somehow Danger the cat figured out how to open the door and at some point in the afternoon I felt like she wasnt in the house- I checked her usual sleeping spots and she was no where to be found.. then i walked around the house shaking her favorite treats and she was still nowhere to be found-- then at about the same time Sara and I saw her just walking around outside.. she wouldnt stop complainin when we took her inside. I cant blame her... Dan is up here working on the book with us so we have decided to cook a lot of Vegan food.. i got a stash of fresh curry leafs and we cant stop cooking with them... anyway sara made a pork noodle soup for lunch but for dinner we made all different veggies... it was really good.. but im sick and cant taste anything..

sara said she had dreams last night about the Women of Grey Gardens but she cant remember them...

in case you wanted to know

2008-09-30T11:39:00.000-07:00

I just drank some tea so I'm ready to tell stories.. Saturday was Mimis and Jacobs birthday party. We all ate food and sat around and it was really nice. that doesn't describe it well. each time I go to her house I notice a different painting that I swear I have never seen before. and it turns out that it has always been there.. we all sat and ate and talked- Laura and I were some of the last ones there and we kept almost going and then staying more to talk and talk...

We finally left and walked up town trying to go to some party that Laura thought would be fun -we found it ( we had been there before but didn't remember where it was the last time we went we had been drinking a lot of tequila, got into a bike accident with each other and then stormed the party danced and stomped and then some how rode our bikes all the way back to Harlem) and it was BUSTED. there was some quote that a 20 something girl made -I think she was getting her ID checked and in the middle of the man asking for her ID she screamed " like oh my god" to I guess some long lost friend. I looked at the bouncer and he rolled his eyes and it was time to go..

we ended up in Brooklyn - you know how I LOVE bklyn. but friends from San Fransisco were visiting ( do you know that they hate it when people call it Frisco?) at a bar that promised dancing. they played the usual dance music line up- a lil dance hall then new order then the smiths then some ac/dc then a few dirty south classics.. at least no salt n peppa ( I love them but all the time?) and then the fun began. TWO girl fights.. next thing we know there is this girl on top of this other girl rolling around. the girl underneath was wearing a red and black plaid jacket I had recognized her from the bar where she cut in front of me to order three beers-they finally pulled the girl off of her and carried her out -some how she lost her shirt in the process and was wearing a nice bra that did not hold her boobs.. she was still trying to fight while lifted in the air. we drank more and I tried to play Ms Pacman and lost quickly.. then a man from some random eastern European tv show kept trying to dance with Laura ( did i mention that we were wearing beautiful birthday dresses?)... Laura goes to the bar to get more and in busts the once topless woman. shes wearing a white tee shirt now and a short sleeved black velvet blazer.( side note i think this is common that people who are waisted sometimes change their outfits and then believe that they are no longer drunk.. i had an old boyfriend who would do this he would take a shower put on a new outfit but he was still crooked eyed drunk) so she comes in and finds the plaid girl who is close to the door and starts hitting the plaid then there is this rumble - I didn't mention that the topless now blazer is rather big and blonde and the plaid is small with fashion dork glasses- the blond girl hits her to the floor and I guess is wearing a skirt although I dint remember her wearing a skirt but anyway all of a sudden her skirt is pulled up because she is wrestling to the floor and then we see her pink underwear for a long time. cell phones clicking and flashes. as soon as they get up another girl who is tall with long black hair gets in the mix- Stephen thinks they came in together.. anyway there is a lot of punching they then throw the Plaid girl out and let the other two stay- they get back to drinking tequila.. their posse was a mess.. by the end of the night there is another member of the crew who is just walking around slowly with tears covering her cheeks. she goes outside and then back in again and her eyes are wet, she looked so sad and alone and it was so crowded..

Sunday was Kazukos memorial. Saturday marked the one year anniversary of her death.. it was a beautiful get together and people talked about her how they met her, and lots of little but big stories.. she saved so many people.I couldn't stop crying. they only had cloth napkins and i felt strange whipping my snot in them.. I couldn't figure out what story I wanted to tell, its hard to pick a moment like that. I kept thinking about stories that were about her death and felt strange because people were always telling stories about her when she was young.. I didn't tell any story's i just cried.. but if I was to tell a story one of them would have been about what it was like cleaning out her apartment after she died. that I always felt safe there and didn't feel scared or nervous (when my friend Leah died a few months before I also cleaned out her apartment- with her family- and I felt nervous like I wanted to protect her and at unease she had left the earth in an unwanted rush nothing settled) I would have talked about how quiet it was at night in her apartment and how one night I saw her dip through the apartment, I just saw little white shoes run past me - not run like in a hurry- but move through the space like a small breeze when its almost too hot....

one more thing.. last night i went to the cinema for the start of the Haiti in Harlem mini film festival that we are putting on.. we drank Haitian rum and it was so nice- you should check out the website for all of the films this week.. mayslesinstitute.org ( i don't know how to make it work as a link ill work at it)

I'm in fishers but I wish I was there to see the films.. the film tonight looks fantastic Bitter Cane-

the photos are from Harlem and Grand Central Station ( research for the Grey Gardens book)

fishers island

2008-09-25T12:56:00.000-07:00

Danger the cat is too fast to chase around.. i

work work work

2008-09-22T22:29:00.000-07:00

im getting ready to go away for a while to get some work done. Danger is already getting a bit on edge because i think she knows she is going to have to be in the truck for a few hours..

before i left i went to see My Bloody Valentine.. so here it is.. it was packed.. we had a great time...

African- American Parade

2008-09-21T21:18:00.000-07:00

the sun was really strong and above the trees, thats why some of the photos are faded..

I think it still feels like summer, although when i woke up this morning I realized that i was able to sleep with out my windows being wide open. There was a parade today in Harlem- the African Parade and it went on for a long time and i ate too much food. When I got home I had the best pulled pork sandwich that my neighbor made ( he grills out back in the light well between the buildings and he starts grillin super early in the morning) today he brought the grill to the front of the building, I wish i had saved an extra sandwich to eat right now.. there were six shootings after the parade was over, when it got dark. my brother got stuck with millie who was on her scooter and Wheely who was on his scooter- they all got stuck behind a fat police officer who pulled aside a teen ager and started beating the shit out of him. My brother said that it seemed like it was random and maybe because there were so many teens around and so many shootings. I was at my mothers house when the shootings took place, when i went to walk home the street was filled with trash and cops dozens of cops.

i had a lot of dreams last night, now i cant remember

2008-09-19T12:25:00.000-07:00

drawings

2008-09-18T09:30:00.000-07:00

one drawing that i found on the street

one drawing that i have been working on

Full Moon

2008-09-16T07:36:00.000-07:00

I have been anxious for the past few days, I think its because of the full moon. I have been thinking about my friend Leah who passed away almost two years ago. I have been thinking about going to a medium to contact her to see how she is doing- her friend Gretchen said that Leah is all around. So maybe when I'm standing in my bedroom looking at my bed thinking about how she would lay on it with her belly on the bed and her little legs flipping back and fourth- tearing through O.K magazine- she is actually there. Maybe when I'm just missing her shes actually there or here with me. Its strange when people die, they seem frozen and then further and further away. So last night my mother called me all excited she was standing outside of her house looking at the moon- a full moon and the sky had this thin lace of clouds. She was giddy- there is a church across from her house- she kept saying you have to see how thin the clouds are how amazing the moon is behind the church. I just picture her standing outside her stoop with her roller backpack just staring at the sky, just excited about the full moon.. So Laura and I went up to the roof and it was amazing... It doesn't show in photos- the sky was so blue and vast. Then I walked home.